Chthonic creature looks none-too-pleased to be disturbed from his not-so-eternal rest.

What The Chthfuck?

THE BLACK FOREST, GERMANY-- What started as an innocent teenage ritual, turned into a nightmare for German high-school students visiting from Hanover.

The annual trek into the Black Forest (for a week of camping, hiking, and serious groping) was turned upside-down by the appearance of several hellish chthonic creatures released from their bonds at the center of the Earth.

The German students had read several passages--as a joke--out of an ancient tome, not realizing what the consequences would be.

The gargoyle exhibit at the San Diego zoo is fascinating, even though the gargoyles remain motionless.

Risky New Exhibit Is Hit Or Myth

SAN DIEGO-- The San Diego zoo, famous for its exotic collections of animals, has opened an exhibit of almost mythical proportions. The zoo has acquired what is believed to be the first troupe of European stone gargoyles in North America for public display.

"We're very pleased with this acquisition," said Rupert Miles, assistant zookeeper. "Finally our zoo can compete with the cathedrals of France and Italy for precious tourism dollars. Sure there are North American varieties, and I believe there is a zoo in Brazil with a fine selection of native species, but nothing says 'gargoyle' quite like the beloved horrid little creatures typified on European medieval, baroque and roccocco architecture."

Enthusiasts engage in an aquatic seance exercise, reaching across a mystic watery void in search of spirits.

COMMUNITY POOL-- Capitalizing on the popularity of aquatic excercise and a growing interest in the paranormal, local recreation centres are getting into the spirit of things, through aquatic séancing.

"It gives the kids of all ages a chance to combine swimming, a gentle yet vigourous cardiovascular activity and the hope to reach across the spiritual threshold to contact a loved one who has passed over to the other side," said Mrs. Hobbleston, Program Director at the Community Pool and Leisure Centre.

Jean-Jacques Laroque points to the ferry dock from where he says he and his Ford pick-up were mysteriously ferried from one side of the river to the other.

One Man's Eerie River Crossing

ALONG THE RIVER--It was a dark and foggy night--mostly because of the darkness and the fog. Some say the fog that night was thicker than phlegm, and couldn't be cut with even the sharpest of your father's steak knives.

The roads were practically unnavigable, were it not for the lines dividing one side from the other. And the river was blanketed from bank to bank, covered more completely than the fibreglass insulation in your attic. The visibility was so limited, an embarrassed teen wouldn't have been able to lance the boil on the end of his own nose. And one man's tale of a ghostly crossing will be told again and again until it becomes legend, or until people really get sick of it.