Carol Kiefer (left) carefully watches her guests for signs of being sucked into the Interdimensional Vortex (right).

Science Fiction Is Always A Party-Stopper

CAROL'S APARTMENT-- Carol Kiefer doesn't know what to do. The 32-year-old single woman who likes to entertain friends can't seem to host a party without it being disturbed by an interdimensional vortex that inhabits the space between her living room and her dining room.

The vortex, a whirling tear in the fabric of space, has been in the corner of Carol's living room since the day she moved in, and so far she hasn't been able to figure a way to remove it.

"I first tried mixing baking soda, mineral water and anti-graviton particles just like it said in a Martha Stewart magazine," said Carol, "but even though I applied plenty of solution, and I mean plenty, it didn't go away at all. In fact, I think it got kind of bigger. So much for Martha Stewart."

Soli-tarot card reader Evelyn Moonmist looks at the future of an unnamed and unshirted client.

COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS-- The mysterious tent of a psychic can be ominous, and too much mystique can frighten away potential customers, and that is never good for business. It was at that point when former tarot card reader Evelyn Moonmist decided to combine traditional fortune telling with modern playing-card pastimes. Her result was Soli-Tarot.

Evelyn uses a special 52-card pack of soli-tarot cards which make the readings more understandable to her customers. Even the most mundane client can figure out that the two-of-clubs needs to go on top of the ace, unless of course, aces are high.

"I can tell by putting the red-seven on the black-eight that there will be love in your future," said Evelyn. "A second time through the deck may reveal more."

PLANET EARTH-- Kth'thzz K'th'ack had thought he was doing well with his Earthling date, Karen. Kth'thzz, who's "not from around here," had studied Earth customs, and believed he was doing okay on his first date with the 27-year old legal secretary.

But Karen, who met Kth'thzz through online dating service Galaxydating.com, didn't think the date went very well at all.

"I don't mind dating foreign guys," said Karen, "and I don't mind when the guy makes the first move. But, to tell you the truth, this guy was all hands."

"To be honest, I'd rather we'd found the secret to good looks," said Penn Gillette, who admitted that he has been performing magic since 1789.

"It was Romania in 1908, when I met Teller," said Penn, remembering fondly. "He was performing in a carnival as the beardless man."

The entertaining duo are not ready to divulge the secret of agelessness--just yet--and promise that when they do announce the secret, it will be surrounded by mischief, misdirection, and hyjinx.

"Oh, you will be amazed," said Penn, with a devilish grin.

Teller had nothing to add.