| |
| Mark
Burton doesn't know what to do about his imaginary green
conscience. |
|
When
The Great Gazoo Gets Inside Your Head
NEW
BEDROCK CITY-- Mark
Burton may attribute his illusions to his excessive drinking. Mark has
been suffering from mild depression, and his solution was to get the answer
to his problems from his good friend Jack Daniels. But a consequence of
Jack's actions was the sudden manifestation of an animated alien conscience,
a little green creature determined to turn Mark's already upside-down
life...upside-downer.
His problem
started (he thinks) the night he passed-out on his couch, with the television
running a Hanna-Barbera marathon on the Cartoon Network. An excess of
liquor, combined with an overdose of The Flintstones may have
triggered something in his head that led to the substantiation of the
helmeted alien imp from the prehistoric cartoon series.
"I
know I've watched far too many episodes of The Flintstones,"
said Mark. "That much I'll admit. But for me to be imagining characters
from that show is a little crazy. But if I'm going to seeing things, why
couldn't it be someone sexier, like Betty [Rubble]?"
Mark's
semi-animated hallucinations revolve around the little green alien "The
Great Gazoo", a misfit space-traveller who constantly pestered the
mod-historic stone-age family man.
Gazoo,
who was apparently banished from his own planet for being too annoying,
has been a constant nuisance in Mark's life. And Mark hasn't been able
to get him out of his head, or off his shoulder.
Oh,
but he has tried. But every time Mark thought that he was rid of the "forest-green
freak from outer space" he would materialize at an awkward moment,
usually in public where the incidents would cause Mark maximum embarrassment.
Nobody else ever saw the miniature Martian, who hovered above Mark's head
like an oversized gnat.
"I've
tried bug spray, bribery, and begging. I've even held my breath until
I was blue in the face," said Mark, nick-named Dum-Dum. "I've
kept my eyes closed for hours at a time, but that little green pest is
there the moment I open them to take a peek. I don't know what Fred [Flintstone]
did to absolve himself of this meddlesome Martian, but I'm not having
any luck."
Mark
has been so consumed by the galactic green goblin that he has had no time
to drink himself silly. To distract himself from Gazoo's nosesome interloping,
he's put more effort into his job, repaired relationships with his distanced
friends and family, and given up television all-together in favour of
reading, writing, and rhythmic gymastics. |
